Asher's Birth Story

A journal entry from the morning of June 28, 2013 read- Five days after my estimated due date. I'm starting to question whether something is wrong with me. With my body. I was so sure I would deliver Asher on his due date and here it is five days past! I know it's just an estimate, but I'm going insane! He's getting big and I'm becoming more uncomfortable. I'll ask Michael for a blessing tonight, and maybe that'll get things going. 

Yeah, I guess you could say I was starting to go crazy! I had had a prenatal appointment the day before this and I was dilated to about a 3 and he was in position to go, but NOTHING was happening. Ugh. So we set an appointment for Monday July 1 and would see what the weekend would entail. I was feeling discouraged. Highly discouraged.

On Friday the 28, I did ask Michael for that blessing and we ended up talking for about two hours while Emily played in her room. We finished at around 8/8:15 pm and Emily was crying, so I went in to comfort her. I sat on the floor in her room and just held her for a minute. I had sent her to go ask Michael something and went to stand up. It took a little longer than usual to stand, and when I finally did, I felt warm liquid run down my legs. At first I thought I peed myself, it wouldn't have been the first time, but then I realized that I had never had the urge to pee. Michael came to check on me and I looked at him kind of shocked then raced into the shower. Poor Michael was a little confused at my response, until he saw my wet bottoms. "Did your water just break? Really?" No honey, I was carrying a jar of pickle juice with me and spilled it. Yes, my water broke.

I raced into the shower to rinse off and after I thought I could just put a pad on, I mean after all, there couldn't be THAT much fluid, right? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I tried just putting a pad on and within two-three minutes I had to change it. So, I was silly and put another pad on. Two minutes passed and I was dripping fluid down my leg, so I went to go rinse off again. Only...there was a laundry basket in the way. So I did what any women in labor would do, I tried to jump over the laundry basket into the bathtub. Yeah, it ended about as badly as it sounds. Combine that with a giggly Yannie and a kind of worried Michael- it made for a comedy skit, that's for sure. After I had showered for the second time, I gave in and just put an adult diaper on. (YUCK!) Somewhere amongst all this chaos, we managed to text Heather (my mid-wife), and Laura (Michael's cousin who was coming down from Salt Lake to help) that my water had broken. Michael even was able to call his mom and let her know, as she was going to watch Emily for us.

Great! Something is happening. Maybe? I still hadn't really had any contractions by the time Laura got here about an hour after texting her and I was antsy. And hyper. Very hyper. When Laura got here, she immediately told me she had something for me in her car which immediately piqued my interest, so she went out and got what it was. It was a blanket that Michael's grandma had made before she passed away last year. Laura's mom felt that it was for Asher. Cue the tears. We packed it in the bag to bring with us to the birth center.

After Laura was here, I tried to settle down for a bit by watching a movie with Laura and Michael. Guess what didn't work... I was way too riled and hyper and hungry. I NEEDED food. About eleven-ish Michael laid down to take a nap and told me to wake him up when I needed him. I still hadn't had any real contractions, so Laura and I hit the pavement. We walked around the block three (?) times and came back to the apartment. Laura laid down to get some sleep and I sat on the couch trying to lose myself in a book. Before too long, I too fell asleep, but it wasn't very restful. I started having contractions. YES!!!

Now it's Saturday, June 29 at 4 in the morning and the contractions are getting closer. This is good. About 5:30 I woke Michael up and told him that maybe we should head to the birth center, as the contractions were coming about every four minutes. So, we woke Laura up, put the bags in the car, called Michael's mom and had her come over and headed to the center. Laura decided to get some bagels before heading to the birth center, so Michael and I got there a few minutes before her. Contractions had stopped, so Michael and I walked the yard for a bit.

When we went back inside, Laura was there so we had bagels after Heather checked me. I was already at a five! BOO YA! Heck, that first half was easy. I was so hoping the second half would be too. Well, contractions weren't kicking back in, so I was constantly moving- on the birth ball, walking around, walking outside, sitting and playing in the birth tub, laughing at the jokes being told on my comedy station, walking some more, taking some natural supplement every 20 minutes to help labor, and you know what? STILL NOTHING!! How ridiculously frustrating.

Around noon, Heather decided to send me home and let me labor at home for a bit. She gave me some tinctures, some more natural stuff, even some caster oil. All in hopes of progressing labor. So, now we're back at my apartment and waiting. Michael and Laura convince me that I should take a nap. That felt so good to get some sleep in! Michael awoke me a couple hours later and we ate some pancakes and then it was back to moving around. (The Caster Oil didn't even give me an upset stomach!) And moving. And moving. Around 5:30 pm, Heather asked if we could be back at the birth center around six. Yup. Right before we headed back, I got a pretty serious craving for a hamburger and fries from Wendy's, so Laura went over and got me some. Wendy's had never tasted so good, in the history of ever.

The drive back to the birth center was uneventful. No contractions. Boo! As soon as we were back, we all decided to hit me with EVERYTHING! Tinctures, herbs, nipple stimulation, pressure points, moving around, everything that we could possibly try, we tried. It was kind of intense, but I started having contractions. Laura was timing them, but was not allowed to tell me the times, because it would drive me crazy. After a couple hours, I started going insane with the pump (for nipple stimulation). I felt it wasn't really helping. It was also during this time that I had Michael put a calming station on Pandora and we took the clock down, so I really had no sense of time. The clock was making me anxious.

A few hours later, I asked if I could get a little nap in, and the request was readily okayed. I got woken up from the nap with a contraction, and Michael wasn't there! After the contraction passed, I asked Laura where Michael was and she told me he was talking with Heather and her team. My heart sank. I knew they were talking about the possibility of having to transfer me to the hospital.

Michael came back in and told me my options. 1) Stay birthing at the birth center until it becomes an emergency to transfer, 2) Transfer immediately, and the third option wasn't an option for any of us. Teresa and Heather were discussing how pitocin could help, but Teresa didn't have her license yet and we didn't want to transfer me just for pitocin. So, this wasn't an option for us. Period.

After Michael kind of gave me the brief run-down, Heather came in to talk to me and explain the options in detail. I was torn. I didn't want to go to the hospital, but I could understand their concern. My water had been broken for a long time and nothing was really happening. I couldn't make a decision, so I asked if I could have a priesthood blessing before we decided, so Michael called his dad to help. He was more than happy to help. (I later found out we called him at around 2 am Sunday morning!) Right before Carl (Michael's dad) got to the center, there was a sudden freak rainstorm. My power weather! It was wonderful! It was still storming while I received the blessing. The blessing left both Michael and I confused about what we should do. There were some parts that we interpreted to mean go to the hospital, and others to mean stay at the birth center, but I received the prompting that either way would work, I just needed to have faith.

So. Where did that leave us? Well, we decided that because the hospital has a protocol that I would need two doses of antibiotics because of my water being broke for so long, that we would do the first dose and wait out the four hours at the birth center seeing if I progressed. If it turned out that I progressed enough, I would be able to stay at the birth center. I had to start having regular, hard contractions. No pressure.

Not too long after the blessing and after Carl left, contractions hit. And hit. And hit. I could take a breath here and there, and Michael was amazing and right there with me. At some point, he had taken off his shirt so we could have lots of skin-on-skin contact (I had long given up on clothes at this point. They were just a nuisance!) which helped release the needed oxytocin. Michael never gave up on me, and was a great labor coach. Finally, at one point I asked if I could have a shower. The contractions were getting more intense, and I thought I nice warm shower would help.

Karen (one of Heather's students), Michael, and Laura all helped me up the stairs (yes, the shower was UP the dang stairs!) and Michael stayed with while I was showering. The contractions were coming a lot harder, faster, and were starting to last longer. The shower did help-for a bit. Then all of a sudden, it wasn't. I got out of the shower and told Michael that I needed something, but I didn't know what. I just needed something.

Michael told me that I needed to get back downstairs. I went down one stair and that's when transition and exhaustion hit. I got the most painful contraction at the top of the stairs and I was so tired that I couldn't walk down. I had to sit and kind of scoot down. But it gets better. I couldn't hold me head up anymore, so Michael was in front of me guiding me down and Karen was behind me letting me rest my head on her and offering words of encouragement. Michael had made a rule that once I got down three stairs, I could take a thirty second break. I never made it to three stairs. This is how it went- go down one stair, have a contraction, take a ten second break, go down one stair, have a contraction, have a ten second break. At one point during this process, I told Michael to just let me die. That we could borrow his dad's shotgun and a few bullets and just be done with it. He just kind of laughed.

We were almost to the bottom of the stairs when I got a contraction so power, that I could no longer sit. I had to stand. As soon as I stood, I started pushing. I told Michael that I didn't want to push right then, I wanted to rest. I needed to rest. But the contractions were coming frequently and I couldn't fight that urge. Michael told me that we needed to get me on the bed, then I could lay down. I made it to the bed, and just kind of flopped down on my left side. Suddenly, I felt different. My head was a little clearer, and I was super focused. At one point, Michael was trying to help me staying focused by keeping time by tapping on my hip, and it seriously annoyed me. I swatted his hand away. He laughed and made the statement that I was back.

So, now I'm laying on my side pushing. Michael is behind me, Laura is at my head holding my hands, and my foot is propped up on Karen's shoulder to aid in the pushing, and Michael tells me "Okay, after this contraction I want you to go back on the birth stool." NO FREAKIN' WAY! After he made that statement, the contraction didn't stop. :) At some point, Naomi (another student) came in and replaced Karen, only to have to call everyone back in about five minutes later. Why? Because Asher was crowning. All I really knew at that point, was that the energy in the room had changed and every nerve in my body was super focused on pushing this baby out. My body was so focused that at one point I had to release the energy by proclaiming "Get him out!" It wasn't directed at anyone, just a statement that my body had to make. Then I heard Heather yelling at me to stop pushing for just a second, and my mind completely rebelled. How was I supposed to stop?

But I did manage to stop for a second, and she was able to find his heartbeat, (Asher's heartbeat stayed at a consistent 150 during the entire labor. It was like he wasn't even phased by this whole experience!) and I was given the green light to continue pushing. I did and I felt his head come out and was told to stop pushing again because the cord was wrapped around his neck. Heather just popped the cord right off, it wasn't even a big deal. I was already feeling euphoric, and Asher wasn't even properly born yet! One more push, and out came his body. Immediately he was placed on my stomach. I was beyond cloud nine. Here was my son, my handsome son, and he was just looking at me like "Hi mommy! That was quite the adventure, huh?" Not once did he cry. While I was staring and cooing at Asher, I was checked for tears-none, baby!-and pushed for the placenta to come out, but it wasn't. After a few minutes, Heather told me that she had to reach in and pull it out. I just stayed looking at my handsome son, and before I knew it the placenta was delivered and I could nurse Asher. He immediately latched and was (still is, believe me!) a fantastic nurser. After the placenta was delivered, Heather made the comment that the placenta was huge, "like I've only seen a placenta this big with twins!" Um, thank you?

After Asher was born, Michael crashed and I asked if I could get the IV out (remember the antibiotics?), but was told that Heather was concerned about me collapsing so they said that I had to walk to bathroom and actually go to bathroom, before they would take it out. Okay, that's fair. I handed Asher to Laura and Naomi walked with me to the restroom, and I was able to pee. Yay, no bruised bladder!! Then Naomi and Karen got me cleaned up, and we went back to room. Teresa took my IV out, and we all took a much needed nap!

Asher was born at 6:02 am Sunday, June 30, and it was about 7 that we all fell went to sleep. We woke up about noon, I went to the bathroom again, got some food, fed Asher, and by that point I was dying to know weight and everything. Karen and Naomi came in, clamped Asher's umbilical cord and Michael got to cut it! They weighed him-- 9 LBS 1 OZ, and measured him and during all this, he still refused to cry. He had no need to cry, and I was smitten. Positively smitten.

We went home not too long after he was weighed and measured and Michael's parents brought Emily home a short time later. She immediately wanted to hold her little brother, and I couldn't stop smiling. 34 hours of labor, but I would do it all again for Asher.

Post-partum from Asher's  birth was much easier than Emily's, and I think there were several huge contributors to that- Michael was able to help out a lot more, he was never taken from me, I was able to experience all of it- including the urge to push, I felt safe, and above all, I was able to form that bond with him. I didn't have anyone telling me I was nursing incorrectly or waking me up every two hours to feed him. I was left to parent in the way I felt best. I loved delivering naturally and I love my little boy!