A letter to myself

Dear Yannie,

It's been almost two months since we have talked and I noticed that you're still struggling a little bit on some things I told you last time, so I've decided to write to you again and again voice my thoughts on you and about you. Maybe you'll eventually believe it if I tell you enough.

You ARE beautiful. Forget for a moment how you think you look and listen to me. You have a deep-rooted beauty that goes far beyond just physical beauty (don't get me wrong, you're physically beautiful as well). You are kind, loving, and compassionate, all traits of being a beautiful person and because of this others are drawn to you. You have the ability to turn anyone's sour day around and make them smile. And speaking of smiling, your smile can light up a room before you step foot in said room.

You play an important role in other's lives. People know that they can turn to when having a hard time, or a good time, and tell you all about it. They know that if you offer your service or your ear, or anything, that you will follow through on it. You are reliable and trustworthy. I know that you have considered yourself to be a burden to those around and have considered suicide, but you would leave an enormous hole in people's lives and hearts if you were to hurt yourself in this way. A lot of people would be hurt- not just your family. There are those that look to you for encouragement. Where would they be if you left? You are both needed and wanted. Don't give up on yourself.

You are an example to others. You come from a horrible, hellish background but you survived. And you haven't just survived. You have broken those moulds and are not continuing to be your family. In many ways you are a pioneer to and from your family. You haven't just given up and you have sought out Christ. Even with your past, including not having a father, you trust in a Heavenly Father that you weren't allowed to know until you were fifteen. You did what you felt was right even though it went against your family's thoughts and beliefs. You are strong. I know sometimes you become frustrated when you are told that, but it is true. I think you get frustrated because if you are honest with yourself, you'd admit that it's true and things would be easier for you. Let yourself be strong and confident. You have my permission You deserve it (trust me, I would know).

I'm going to offer you some advice now and I really hope you heed it. First, don't let the past have anymore control over you. Move forward and keep moving forward without looking at the past. Those from your past are winning if you continue to believe what they told you and what they did to you. Leave them in your past but stay grateful for the experiences. They make you better able to help others that have gone, or are going, through something similar.

Second, don't be afraid to be yourself. You have a lot to offer the world and those in it including your children. Don't worry if people won't like you because of you being yourself. If someone doesn't like you, they don't like you. It's not the end of the world. Go on. Be yourself and love you.

Third, have the courage to make mistakes in your life. Mistakes are what people learn the most from and making mistakes helps Heavenly Father show you your weaknesses so that they may become your strengths. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone.

Well Yannie, I believe it is time to let you go. I hope that this letter will help you when you are feeling down on yourself. You really are amazing and deserve the best from life. I do love you, even though you find that really hard to believe or listen to.

With Love,
Yannie